by Steve Badger
A three-man prayer meeting changed my life.
I had been trusting in Jesus for just a few weeks that December of 1971. God had saved me out of a sinful and destructive life-style. I was married and had two children. I had another year in graduate school.
Several of my new Christian friends had tried to tell me about the baptism in the Holy Spirit, but I had put them off by saying, “Don’t worry, if it’s really in the Bible, I’ll find it. I read almost the whole New Testament every week.”
To be fair to these friends, I decided to mark all New Testament references to the Holy Spirit with a highlighter. Then I planned to read all of these passages at one sitting—something I thought would take only 10 or 15 minutes. Was I surprised at how long it took me to read them all!
Shortly after I had finished marking and reading these Holy Spirit passages, two Christian friends and I were praying at my living room couch. Jimmy was kneeling on my left, and Phil was on my right.
I heard only part of Jimmy’s prayer: “Lord Jesus, please forgive me of the sins I have committed this day and this week.” This sounded good, so like a parrot I repeated it.
But after repeating it, I realized I didn’t mean it. I could not think of a single sin I had committed that day or that week. I couldn’t even think of a single sin I had committed during the few weeks I had been following Jesus. And that scared me.
Surely I had sinned. I must have sinned. Why couldn’t I think of any? So I prayed, “Lord, please show me my sin.”
As God faithfully answered that prayer, I almost laughed aloud. “God, those aren’t very impressive sins. They seem rather trivial to me. Why, I’ve just been forgiven of some pretty terrible sins. Can’t You show me anything big?”
The Spirit then led me to pray again, “Lord Jesus, please show me how these sins look to You. They don’t look too bad to me. How do they look to You?”
By God’s Spirit I was able to see that my pride was as much an abomination to God as any of my former sins. I wept as God showed me how ugly my arrogance was to Him. I was devastated as He allowed me to see how destructive my gossip had been. And the revelation continued.
I cried quietly as I confessed my sins to God and asked Him for His forgiveness and His cleansing. After this time of repentance in prayer, I felt drained, emptied.
Then I asked God to fill me with His Holy Spirit. I didn’t really know what I was asking for, but God didn’t care.
Jimmy immediately put his hands on my back and prayed with me, “Yes, Lord Jesus, baptize Steve in Your Holy Spirit.”
As God’s Spirit came on me, I praised Him in joyful worship. As the English changed to tongues, I pressed my face down into the cushion of the couch so no one could hear. After all, I had recently scoffed at the reality of tongues-speaking, and now here I was doing it. What an embarrassment!
When we finished praying, Phil shared that—in spite of his skepticism—he had also been baptized in the Spirit with the evidence of tongues. What a prayer meeting!
Now 17 years have passed, and I still believe it is important that we as Christians see our sins the way God sees them, because only then does repentance come easily.
Whether you need to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit or just need to be refilled, dare to ask His Spirit to reveal sin in your life and to allow you to see that sin the way He sees it. Then confidently call on the Lord to fill you with himself.
“How does it look to You, Lord?” Yes, show me again.
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Copyright (C) 1988 Steve Badger
Document last revised: February 7, 1997
730 South Duke, Springfield, MO 65802
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